All New?

Up next; an all new episode of Boston Legal. My question is is there such a thing as partially new? What about kind of new? I never knew that there was degrees of new. Unless of course you mean "new to you", which isn't new but unexperienced. Not virginal, that would be new... just unexperienced.

Funny thing, I seem to be inspired by Boston Legal alot nowadays. Denny and Alan were at a spa and Alan reached over and grabbed Denny's hand and thanked him for treating him to the spa. This is normal BL type stuff, but it got me thinking. Hands really are amazing things.

Personally, I have mitts, paws if you will. Which leads me to my first point. To me, hands are a prominent feature on a person and no two sets are alike. Let's talk man hands, which sometimes show up on women, but let's just talk about the real man hands. That is the ones that are attached to men, which aren't always very manly.

You can always tell a prissy boy by his hands. He may be all pumped up or decked out in leather, but you can't disguise your hands.

First, look for scarring. Some people scar more easily than others, but if there are none... stike one. To me, a hand without scars is a hand that has not seen much use. Not seeing much use means not doing much REAL work, and what use is a man that doesn't work?

Second, if there skin is softer and smoother than a baby's ass... strike two. I am not saying that it should be like gator hide, but calouses and course skin come with use. I can not stand to see a man wear a pair of gloves while doing something that poses no immediate danger to his hands. Handling barbed wire, welding, working on a car whose motor is still hot... okay. Pulling weeds, using a shovel, pushing a mower... come on, pull up your skirt already.

Third, and lastly, a pet peeve of mind. If I grasp your hand to shake it and suddenly I think I am on a pier wrangling a trout off a hook... stike three. I am not saying that you should be able to crack walnuts in your hands, which I can by the way, but you should at least make a showing. Let me tell you something, every one of my dad's co-workers that was into shaking hands while I was growing up made it a point to squeeze the shit out of my hand when they got a chance. It was not uncommon to have hand shakes that lasted for minutes with some of them (hello Bill Hooper). One of them, who is currently my boss, still does it. Just the other day we shook hands and after about 30 seconds I grew tired of it and put the screws to him... He tried to let go, but I wouldn't let him until I had popped every knuckle in both our hands. Manos de pietro! Anyway, a firm hand shake says alot.

I am not even going to touch the subject of manicures. There should be no man in manicure.

For women it is much more complex, as most things are with women. The big thing to look at with women's hands is the skin. Not too many scars, but not none. Not rough but not too soft either. A firm hand shake but not a manshake. See this says they are willing to or do work, but take care of themselves. If they manage to grow long natural nails, not too much work going on there.

Anywho... enough about hands.